marriage

[chariots_of_iron]

I find it interesting when I hear Christians say that they support bible marriage which they define as one man and one woman. However, this does not seem to be the case. Consider Solomon for instance who had over 700 wives, not including many concubines. There is no indication anywhere in the bible that God disapproved of this. How can anyone say then that the bible is against polygamy when several men of God had numerous wives?

[McCulloch]

A better example would have been Jacob. While there is some condemnation for multiplying wives (Deuteronomy 17:17), Jacob had but two wives, Rachel and Leah and two concubines Bilhah and Zilpah. There is no record of any condemnation of this. In fact, the twelve children of Jacob became the patriarchs of the twelve tribes.

Some Christians use Genesis 2:24, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." How, they ask, could a man be joined in this way to more than one woman?

The other rationale brought out is that a bad example from within the Bible is not the same as Biblical approval of the matter. The Bible is full of many bad examples, David, a man after God's own heart, a murderer and adulterer.

[Slopeshoulder]

I'm not an expert here, but I think it may be that by the time of Paul's letters, monogamy, a dyad, seemed to be the preferred form.

[Goat]

I'm not an expert here, but I think it may be that by the time of Paul's letters, monogamy, a dyad, seemed to be the preferred form.

Monogamy became the custom (not law) after the Babylonian exile. Law did not catch up with custom until the 11th century

[bjs]

I happen to be considering this issue on my own and I want to throw in my two cents.

In the New Testament the ethical demand of marriage between one man and one woman is made explicit in Fist Timothy 3:12 and Titus 1:6.

In the Old Testament there were several men who married more than one woman – Abraham (Sarah and Hagar), Jacob (Rachel and Leah), David (Abigail and Bathsheba) and Solomon (hundreds of wives).

The Bible never directly condemns this – many events in the Bible are neither condoned nor condemned. However, whenever it happens it is always a disaster. In each case dual marriage either results from or results in sinful behavior. The dual marriages always lead to pain and heartache. While some good does often come out of them (usually in the form of offspring that are blessed by God), dual marriages are shown to have disastrous effects.

It is as if the biblical authors are trying to show that dual marriages are a really bad idea without actually having to come out and say, “Don’t do this.�

[fewwillfindit]

I happen to be considering this issue on my own and I want to throw in my two cents.

In the New Testament the ethical demand of marriage between one man and one woman is made explicit in Fist Timothy 3:12 and Titus 1:6.

In the Old Testament there were several men who married more than one woman – Abraham (Sarah and Hagar), Jacob (Rachel and Leah), David (Abigail and Bathsheba) and Solomon (hundreds of wives).

The Bible never directly condemns this – many events in the Bible are neither condoned nor condemned. However, whenever it happens it is always a disaster. In each case dual marriage either results from or results in sinful behavior. The dual marriages always lead to pain and heartache. While some good does often come out of them (usually in the form of offspring that are blessed by God), dual marriages are shown to have disastrous effects.

It is as if the biblical authors are trying to show that dual marriages are a really bad idea without actually having to come out and say, “Don’t do this.�

Actually, 1 Timothy 3:12 gives instructions to deacons, and Titus 1:6 gives instructions to elders, so it seems that monogamy is specified for church leaders (although a case can be made from the Greek that "husband of one wife" is better translated as "one-woman man," and speaks more of not having been divorced than it does the number of simultaneous wives.) However, I have found nothing in the New Testament that gives instructions for or against polygamy for layity.

That said, I have been married to the same wonderful woman for 23 years, and the thought of defiling that blessed union with another person in the mix repulses me.

I agree that the majority of polygamous accounts in the Old Testament resulted in less-than-happy situations.

[bjs]

Actually, 1 Timothy 3:12 gives instructions to deacons, and Titus 1:6 gives instructions to elders, so it seems that monogamy is specified for church leaders (although a case can be made from the Greek that "husband of one wife" is better translated as "one-woman man," and speaks more of not having been divorced than it does the number of simultaneous wives.) However, I have found nothing in the New Testament that gives instructions for or against polygamy for layity.

That said, I have been married to the same wonderful woman for 23 years, and the thought of defiling that blessed union with another person in the mix repulses me.

I agree that the majority of polygamous accounts in the Old Testament resulted in less-than-happy situations.

Both First Timothy 3:12 and Titus 1:6 list a series of ethical commands that are common for all Christians. In first Timothy a Deacon is called to be sincere, not indulging in much wine, not pursuing dishonest gain, keeping hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience, a “one-woman man,� and able to manage his household.

With the exception of “one-woman man� all of these are ethical commands for all Christian repeated in other places in the New Testament. I would find it a strange interpretation to say that in the midst of all these ethical commands common to all Christian Paul throws in one that is just for leaders. A more natural reading is that Paul is talking about some of the ethics for all followers of Christ and saying that church leaders should have demonstrated the basic ability to live a Christian life.

[fewwillfindit]

Actually, 1 Timothy 3:12 gives instructions to deacons, and Titus 1:6 gives instructions to elders, so it seems that monogamy is specified for church leaders (although a case can be made from the Greek that "husband of one wife" is better translated as "one-woman man," and speaks more of not having been divorced than it does the number of simultaneous wives.) However, I have found nothing in the New Testament that gives instructions for or against polygamy for layity.

That said, I have been married to the same wonderful woman for 23 years, and the thought of defiling that blessed union with another person in the mix repulses me.

I agree that the majority of polygamous accounts in the Old Testament resulted in less-than-happy situations.

Both First Timothy 3:12 and Titus 1:6 list a series of ethical commands that are common for all Christians. In first Timothy a Deacon is called to be sincere, not indulging in much wine, not pursuing dishonest gain, keeping hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience, a “one-woman man,� and able to manage his household.

With the exception of “one-woman man� all of these are ethical commands for all Christian repeated in other places in the New Testament. I would find it a strange interpretation to say that in the midst of all these ethical commands common to all Christian Paul throws in one that is just for leaders. A more natural reading is that Paul is talking about some of the ethics for all followers of Christ and saying that church leaders should have demonstrated the basic ability to live a Christian life.

Well, the viewpoint of both camps can be proven here. The polygamist can say that technically, according to the letter of the law, the only instructions in the New Testament regarding polygamy are given to leaders; and technically he would be right. The other camp, which both you and I are in, says that the spirit of the law is that what is good for the goose is good for the gander, and if it is wrong for leaders, why on Earth wouldn't it be wrong for layity as well?

This is one of those things that can be proven both ways from now until Christ's return, because it is not one-hundred percent clear-cut. Kind of like speaking in tongues. I am a cessationist, but the other camp has a very strong argument as well.

[Slopeshoulder]

This is a laughably simple exegesis, but I always took seriously Paul's description of marriage of the two becoming one flesh. That could mean several things, and he elaborates elsewhere, but I always took it to highlight the sacredness of two coming together and becoming a third thing, a one. Like fewillfindit, my marriage union is sacred, and is my very identity, and being outside it is like living with one arm in a foriegn land where up is down.
I don't read the Bible for rules and instruction, but rather for themes and wisdom, and the older I get the wiser this seems wisdom seems. Sure, many marriages are mere friendships, social contracts, comfort zones, shared projects, or prisons and hellholes. But a deep spiritual union with another person is paradise on earth, according to those who have had it. While there is something deeply intimate about a community, and I suppose polygamists or polyamorists could argue for it, and I don't condemn them out of hand, my personal experience is that this kind union of 1+1=1 is something, well, heavenly. And many cultures have seemed to figure that out. I have a few very attractive female friends who are all about sex, very active and varied. But even they wish for what Paul describes. I think it is wise to steep ourselves in a tradition that recognizies this.
I'm all for anyone versed enough (no pun intended) in scripture to pull out as much learning as possible, focusing less on the what then the why.

[Angel]

I find it interesting when I hear Christians say that they support bible marriage which they define as one man and one woman. However, this does not seem to be the case. Consider Solomon for instance who had over 700 wives, not including many concubines. There is no indication anywhere in the bible that God disapproved of this. How can anyone say then that the bible is against polygamy when several men of God had numerous wives?

Those who say that polygamy is wrong to God simply misunderstand Scripture. Cultural influences also plays a role with 'some' people because they are born, raised, and taught monogamy. The teaching nowadays come from Church leaders who can spread their influences to the masses.

I find that many arguments for monogamy derived from the Bible are inadequate in explaining why God would allow polygamy in the OT (before and after the Law being given) but not in the NT.