To Spank or Not to Spank?

Ethics, Morality, and Sin

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Whip your kids

Talk to them
4
44%
Different approach
5
56%
 
Total votes: 9

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Nickman
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To Spank or Not to Spank?

Post #1

Post by Nickman »

Many religious families spank their children, at least when I was growing up. My father whipped me with a belt until I was a teenager. This made me not want to go to him when I knew I had messed up, because I was afraid that I would receive that leather strap across my butt. I am a firm believer in talking to your kids and using the belt only in last case scenarios.

Is whipping your kids beneficial?

Is talking to them better than whipping?

When is the right time to whip them or to talk to them?

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SailingCyclops
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Re: To Spank or Not to Spank?

Post #21

Post by SailingCyclops »

[Replying to post 1 by Nickman]

Violence only teaches violence. Beating a child for not behaving as you want only teaches the child to deal violently when in a disagreement. This is akin to the fallacy: God has a place for the infedels, filled with fire, torture, and pain...... BUT HE LOVES YOU! This is a crock!

Religion flies you into buildings, Science flies you to the moon.
If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities -- Voltaire
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jeager106
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Post #22

Post by jeager106 »

OnceConvinced wrote: [Replying to post 19 by jeager106]

Well I'm happy to say I've never committed a violent crime, despite being smacked, whacked with a leather belt and sometimes a wooden stick. In fact the last time I did a violent act was when I was 13 years old in the school yard when I hit a classmate a couple of times and even then I felt guilty about it afterwards.

Heck I still feel guilt about throwing stones at a girl my age, who lived down the road when I was 5 years old!

It's really about what you are taught by your parents and the attitudes your parents had when they punished you. Saying it's because they used a rod is too simplistic.

My ex has two sons who have never been smacked let alone struck with a stick. Both young teenagers. One of them uses violence when he's angry on a regular basis. The other is out on the streets doing drugs, drinking and sometimes not coming home at all and he's only 13 years old! There's clearly more to it then whether they were smacked or not.
Welcome to tje world of human behavior.
The science of psychology is an inexact science, even the Phd's disagree on subject matter.
Why does one twin boy become a rapist the other a physician.
Of course there is much more to adult behavior than a whipping.
BEATINGS on the other hand, ABUSE, is another matter entirely.
I investigated the vicious murder of a 93 year old retired professor who was nearly totally blind and deaf.
There was no need at all for the 2 burglars to so much as touch the old man who probably awoke in the night to go pee.
Yet the 2 beat him to a bloody pulp, killing him.
Both young men had been criminally beaten by parents that were hardly even human themselves.
As one psychiatrist said about children who are problematic; " I hate using the old axiom " look at the parents", but look at the parents".

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OnceConvinced
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Post #23

Post by OnceConvinced »

jeager106 wrote:
Both young men had been criminally beaten by parents that were hardly even human themselves.
and this is the big difference between good parents who physically discipline their children out of love and correction compared to those who are abusive.
As one psychiatrist said about children who are problematic; " I hate using the old axiom " look at the parents", but look at the parents".
Agreed. There is a fine line between punishment and abuse and you have to be careful not to cross it. A parent can use a rod to punish their child and do it in a way that teaches them the difference between right and wrong. They can do it in a way that shows they care and wish to guide the child in the right direction. (as my parents did), Or a parent can just be an abusive scum bucket who allows their anger and frustrations to get the better of them, thus teaching their children to also be angry abusive people.

Society and its morals evolve and will continue to evolve. The bible however remains the same and just requires more and more apologetics and claims of "metaphors" and "symbolism" to justify it.

Prayer is like rubbing an old bottle and hoping that a genie will pop out and grant you three wishes.

There is much about this world that is mind boggling and impressive, but I see no need whatsoever to put it down to magical super powered beings.


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lafiera88
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Re: To Spank or Not to Spank?

Post #24

Post by lafiera88 »

[Replying to post 1 by Nickman]

My parents whipped all of us (6 kids), today we all laugh about times where we got in trouble it didn't cause any of us damage or cause trust issues between my parents and us. The thing is my parents mixed discipline with a lot of love, we all call our parents when we need help or advice and as children we went to them for the same things. Even when we messed up we still went to them. They set boundaries that by the time I was about 9 I knew not to cross.

Child abuse is completely different than discipline, I believe that a belt works great for some kids and terrible for others you need to know what works for each child. I have a method with kids where I tell them something 2 times and the third time a whipping is coming and that's depending on their age. I don't have kids I ha e 3 nephews that spend a lot of time with me and the oldest one is 8 he only gets one warning and then the belt or my hand which 99% of the time neither one is needed, he's a really good kid who loves being at my house although I'm pretty strict its just mixed with love.

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Re: To Spank or Not to Spank?

Post #25

Post by Youkilledkenny »

[Replying to post 1 by Nickman]

I think spanking is good when use as a means of embarrassment. Example:
When I was about 5 I threw a fit in the grocery store (probably wanted something I wasn't going to get I would guess). My mom picked me up and swatted me on the bottom twice - in front of strangers. It didn't hurt me physically, but it did embarrass me because it happened in front of strangers. I never did that again.
So if it's done effectively it works - but you have to know your kid. Kids aren't all the same so you have to know what works with them and when. You can't successfully talk, like an adult, to a screaming 2 year old and expect anything out of it other than frustration on your part (typically).
So know your kids, know what works for them and when. Being smart works better than being a brute from my experience.

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Post #26

Post by puddleglum »

The Bible says parents should whip their children when necessary but it says a lot more about talking to them and teaching them what they need to know. Both are needed. If the children know that disobedience can lead to a whipping they will be more likely to listen to what we say and most of the time whipping will be unnecessary. Whipping children without taking time to explain what you expect from them and to listen to them can constitute child abuse.
His invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.
Romans 1:20 ESV

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