The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

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RedEye
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The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

Post #1

Post by RedEye »

The gospel of Matthew 27:51-53 tells us what happened right after Jesus Christ died:
  • Then, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth quaked, and the rocks were split, and the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; and coming out of the graves after His resurrection, they went into the holy city and appeared to many.
Let's think about how monumental an event this must have been. Dead and rotting corpses rose up through the rocks and dirt of their graves and descended on the city of Jerusalem. The news of such an event (unprecedented in the history of the world) must have spread throughout the Roman Empire like wildfire. It was possible to die, rot in the ground and then return to life! Next to alien contact I can't think of a more electrifying event which could occur.

So why is there no secular record of this? No contemporary historian knows anything about it. There is no Roman record of it. Did Pontius Pilate not think it worth mentioning in his correspondence with Rome? There is no word on what happened to these zombies either. Did they live for a while and die again later? How did they walk around with ruined bodies? Did anyone bother to examine them? It's almost like the story is complete fiction. But the Bible doesn't lie, does it?
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Re: The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

Post #21

Post by marco »

RedEye wrote:

I tend to disagree. Their nakedness (or rags) might have been the least shocking thing. Someone rising from the dead in a decayed state, that would be truly shocking and newsworthy. One would be a sensation, a whole horde of them should have been electrifying.

I was using irony, RedEye.
RedEye wrote:
On a related point Jesus too would have been in his birthday suit, having thoughtfully folded up his funeral garments before politely pushing the stone away and going for a drink.
He might have needed a long bath before approaching anyone. (I believe he was wrapped in cloth so he would have had to break out of that first and then fashion it into some sort of clothing --- so much for the shroud though).

The mechanics or dynamics of his escape have unfortunately not been included in the biblical accounts but we've got a clue in the angel or angels who suddeny turned up inside the tomb, just to sit. They must have had a purpose and it was surely to free the emerging Jesus.


Matthew's corpses were probably buried with spades, a useful precaution in days when dead people could not be relied on to lie still. I find it amazing, though, that Matthew identified the walking corpses as holy men, but then to be fair some observant passer-by might have popped over to the vacant tombs to read the notice and beside the name would have been added: "holy person."

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Re: The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

Post #22

Post by RedEye »

marco wrote:
RedEye wrote: I tend to disagree. Their nakedness (or rags) might have been the least shocking thing. Someone rising from the dead in a decayed state, that would be truly shocking and newsworthy. One would be a sensation, a whole horde of them should have been electrifying.
I was using irony, RedEye.
Okay. Sorry, but I missed it completely. You got me.
RedEye wrote:
On a related point Jesus too would have been in his birthday suit, having thoughtfully folded up his funeral garments before politely pushing the stone away and going for a drink.
He might have needed a long bath before approaching anyone. (I believe he was wrapped in cloth so he would have had to break out of that first and then fashion it into some sort of clothing --- so much for the shroud though).
The mechanics or dynamics of his escape have unfortunately not been included in the biblical accounts but we've got a clue in the angel or angels who suddeny turned up inside the tomb, just to sit. They must have had a purpose and it was surely to free the emerging Jesus.
But they left him naked so he could flash the women a bit later, right? ;)
Matthew's corpses were probably buried with spades, a useful precaution in days when dead people could not be relied on to lie still. I find it amazing, though, that Matthew identified the walking corpses as holy men, but then to be fair some observant passer-by might have popped over to the vacant tombs to read the notice and beside the name would have been added: "holy person."
Great point. This is yet another instance of an omniscient gospel author claiming knowledge of things which they can't possibly know. It reinforces once again how much the gospels are obvious works of fiction.
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Re: The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

Post #23

Post by JehovahsWitness »

RedEye wrote:
The mechanics or dynamics of his escape have unfortunately not been included in the biblical accounts but we've got a clue in the angel or angels who suddeny turned up inside the tomb, just to sit. They must have had a purpose and it was surely to free the emerging Jesus.
But they left him naked so he could flash the women a bit later, right?
No, the Bible account never speaks of Jesus appearing naked in public.

The angels are spoken of as speaking on various occassions, notably to the women.



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Post #24

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Overcomer wrote: As for non-Biblical sources not reporting it, that constitutes an argument from silence which, at best, is weak and, at worst, fallacious. Think about it. Would the Romans really record an event that made them look bad?
Wow.
Do you actually believe that zombie event really happened ?
Seriously ?

Where did all those raised saints go ?
What happened to raised King David ?

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Re: The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

Post #25

Post by marco »

JehovahsWitness wrote:

No, the Bible account never speaks of Jesus appearing naked in public.

The angels are spoken of as speaking on various occassions, notably to the women.



We are meant to assume a silent miracle in the process of noctural miracles in the tomb; Christ made clothes appear for himself and put them on. Off he went wandering down roads, unrecognised in his new suit. This is fiction and not particularly good fiction.


The incidental angels, just sitting around waiting to comment, testifying their inferior position to the risen corpse, insult modern intelligence. One wonders if cautious old Aquinas actually believed this stuff. Probably not.

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Re: The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

Post #26

Post by Goose »

RedEye wrote:So why is there no secular record of this?
Well aside from the NT documents there simply aren't many other sources that report on the goings on in first century Judea. Tacitus reports some events, those of interest to Romans. Josephus and Philo also report some events. That's pretty much it for the most part.

I think a better question is why didn't any other Christian source mention it?
No contemporary historian knows anything about it.
Unless we consider Matthew to be a contemporary.
There is no Roman record of it.
Well this argument from silence cuts both ways. Why aren't there any Roman or other sources denying it?

Look, for an argument from silence to be compelling you need to tell us which author should have mentioned it, in which work it should have been mentioned, and why it should have been mentioned at that location in the work.

It's not enough to simply argue this event should have been mentioned by more authors because it was really "electrifying."
Did Pontius Pilate not think it worth mentioning in his correspondence with Rome?
None of Pilate's correspondence with Rome has come down to us. So we don't know what Pilate may or may not have mentioned.
There is no word on what happened to these zombies either. Did they live for a while and die again later?
We don't know, Matthew doesn't say.
How did they walk around with ruined bodies?
What makes you think they were walking around with ruined zombie-like bodies?
It's almost like the story is complete fiction. But the Bible doesn't lie, does it?
It could be fiction. It could be apocalyptic symbolism. It could be historical.
Last edited by Goose on Tue Nov 27, 2018 3:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

Post #27

Post by rikuoamero »

[Replying to post 25 by Goose]
Well aside from the NT documents there simply aren't many other sources that report on the goings on in first century Judea. Tacitus reports some events, those of interest to Romans. Josephus and Philo also report some events. That's pretty much it for the most part.
Are you inferring that a bunch of previously dead people leaving their graves was of little to no interest to people back then?
I think a better question is why didn't any other Christian source mention it?
Good question. So...why didn't they?
Well this argument from silecne cuts both ways. Why aren't there any Roman or other sources denying it?
I've debunked the Naysayer argument before. Why would Romans go out of their way to debunk something that apparently only a single gospel mentions?
Look, for an argument from silence to be compelling you need to tell us which author should have mentioned it, in which work should it hav been mentioned, and why it should have been mentioned at that location in the work.
Anyone in the city? Come on, it's a number of dead people who are no longer dead! Surely in your mind, this ought to form the thought "People would have talked about it!"?
We don't know, Matthew doesn't say.
Exactly. Neither does anyone else. Why...it's almost like it never happened!
What makes you think their bodies were ruined?
Do bodies typically stay pristine in graves and tombs?
It could be fiction. It could be apocalyptic symbolism. It could be historical.
What makes you think this is a historical event, something that happened in the real world, when it's so far fetched and only a single gospel mentions it, and then only a scant few lines at that?
You're taking credulity to an art form.
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Re: The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

Post #28

Post by marco »

Goose wrote:

Well this argument from silence cuts both ways. Why aren't there any Roman or other sources denying it?

Roman authors mention Jews; they probably considered the Christian groups beneath contempt. If they heard of the ridiculous story, it would simply confirm their views.

Goose wrote:
Look, for an argument from silence to be compelling you need to tell us which author should have mentioned it, in which work it should have been mentioned, and why it should have been mentioned at that location in the work.
The point here is that an event that indicates Christ's ambient powers over death is the stuff of Christian propaganda. If it happened, it is of more significance than most other stories and we would expect excited reportage of the event. It is not something that would have slipped people's minds, so its omission from accounts of Christ's life is significant.
Goose wrote:

It could be fiction. It could be apocalyptic symbolism. It could be historical.

If it is fiction, it indicates Matthew was lying. That is problematic.

Apocalyptic symbolism requires symbols. The narration is in the actual context of what was taking place at the time; it is not a dream sequence or a vision of things to come. So this suggestion doesn't work, unless Matthew was having a breakdown.

Yes, it could have happened if we admit into our world the absurd as if it is merely a freak rainstorm. I suppose at this point we just have to express surprise that some people think this is a historical possibility. I wonder what the preferred interpretation is.

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Re: The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

Post #29

Post by JehovahsWitness »

[Replying to post 24 by marco]

I just made a factual statement in response to the following:
RedEye wrote: But they left him naked so he [Jesus] could flash the women a bit later, right?
Emphasis MINE

It was I believe relevant to the general discussion of Jesus exposing his genitalia to women, to refer to any textual precedent, which is why I made the following point, in answers to the question. Namely...
JehovahsWitness wrote: The Bible account never speaks of Jesus appearing naked in public.
I am not telling anyone what they are meant to assume, I am providing factual information which may help to make an accurate assumption about the source text. And sharing my own beliefs /assumptions.




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Re: The Zombie Invasion of Jerusalem

Post #30

Post by Goose »

rikuoamero wrote:Are you inferring that a bunch of previously dead people leaving their graves was of little to no interest to people back then?
The apocalyptic claims that some Jews rose from the dead would have been of little to no interest to Roman historians like Tacitus.
Good question. So...why didn't they?
We can only speculate. My answer to this question would be because other Christian sources recognized this was apocalyptic symbolism used by Matthew intended to make a theological point to his audience. Mike Licona has argued along these lines.
Why would Romans go out of their way to debunk something that apparently only a single gospel mentions?
Well I dont think the Romans cared much at all about the miracle claims of trouble making Jews in a backwater region like Judea. But your question here seems to run against what you said a moment ago. You seemed to be suggesting that a bunch of previously dead people leaving their graves would be of great interest to people back then. And by people, presumably, you mean Romans among others. Indeed if the event were tied to Jesus wouldnt we expect Roman sources to deny the raising of the Saints if they had reason to doubt it? Where are all the Roman sources denying this event? My point here is not that this is a good argument but on the contrary this type of argument from silence is quite weak and easy to assert.
Anyone in the city?
What do you mean by anyone in the city? You do realize there was a very low literacy rate back then, right? There would have been few people with the ability to write about the event.
Come on, it's a number of dead people who are no longer dead!
Okay, and? We have numerous events from antiquity that strike us today as quite noteworthy yet for some reason no eyewitness account has come down to us.
Surely in your mind, this ought to form the thought "People would have talked about it!"?
Talked about it sure. But would they have written about it? And this all depends upon how many Saints were raised and who they appeared to. If it was only a handful of resurrections and they appeared to a relatively small number of people Im not sure there would be many people talking about it. I think on the contrary anyone who had seen the resurrected Saints would have kept quiet about it perhaps only speaking of it in trusted sympathetic circles. Think of the ridicule that might follow if one just ran through the streets of Jerusalem declaring the Saints had risen.
Do bodies typically stay pristine in graves and tombs?
I think the assumption these were zombie-like bodies roaming around Jerusalem is a particularly unsophisticated view. It fails to take into account the context of the nature of Jesus resurrected body and the Jewish understanding of the resurrection of the dead.
What makes you think this is a historical event, something that happened in the real world, when it's so far fetched and only a single gospel mentions it, and then only a scant few lines at that?
Although I think there are good reasons for holding the view Matthew meant this to be understood as historical, Im not absolutely sure that was Matthews intended meaning. I merely meant that is one possible understanding.
You're taking credulity to an art form.
Not for someone like me who already accepts the existence of God and resurrections. What else can you argue aside from your personal incredulity?
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